Today we are officially celebrating two years of marriage. Unofficially we celebrated yesterday because, well, today is a Monday. That means Dave is working today and heading out for Monday Night Football this evening. Yes, I’m “letting” my husband go spend the evening with a bunch of dudes watching football on our anniversary. Does that make me the coolest wife ever? Really we kind of spent the weekend celebrating our anniversary in a low-key way. We spent it at home, together. That might sound like any other weekend, but when you look ahead at our schedule for the next few months, weekends like those are going to be few and far between. We’re both introverts, and we need that quiet recharge time. We worked on stuff together and relaxed in front of the fireplace together. Last night we headed out to Kona Grill for a sushi dinner, then went to Orange Leaf on the way home for some frozen yogurt. It was relaxing and even though it doesn’t sound to fancy or splashy, it was perfect.
So what have I learned from two years of marriage?
Year two is WAY easier than year one. We’ve settled into a routine, and figured out solutions to a lot of our day-to-day problems. That’s not to say we’ve got all the kinks worked out yet – but does any marriage really have all the kinks ironed out?
Alone-time is incredibly important. It sounds counter-intuitive for a married couple to need to be apart, but it makes the time we spend together so much better. This is so important for us in particular because, as I mentioned earlier, we’re both introverts. When we lived in a tiny apartment I really struggled, especially on the weekends when Dave was home all day. Living in a larger house has made our relationship so much easier. Dave can get up early on a Saturday morning and go down to his office to watch woodworking tutorials on his computer without disturbing me. I can sit in my loft or out on our lanai and plan out what plants I want to put in the garden next spring. After some alone time we are recharged, calm, and in a great mood to spend some time together. It’s all about the quality of the time you spend together, not the quantity of time spent together.
Support each other, support each other, support each other. This lesson is still a work in progress for us, but we’re getting a lot better. I groan a little less every time Dave asks me what woodworking projects he should tackle for our house. He rolls his eyes a little less when we head to the garden center for soil and mulch and I walk out with a couple additional astilbe plants. He needs to work on being more uplifting and encouraging and less of a nag, and I need to work on showing more confidence in him and his endeavors.
Oh – and in case you missed it, this is what I learned from our first year of marriage….and it’s all still true!
Happy Thanksgiving to all our friends and family celebrating today up in Canada. Have some turkey for me!
Until later, Ashlen